Mood not so good today, maybe +1 energy and +1 Wellbeing – I did a bit of walking yesterday, wine free protein rich supper, a desert of blueberries and biscuits – not too many. Diet OK! Hip gradually getting better – so why am I not so happy today?
I am doing a course about Chaos – Chaos is fantastic – it is a mathematical science that has largely developed in the last forty years – just as I was leaving Medical School as a qualified doctor. I love the maths around it, I am working but my brain is at least fifty years too old for all of this! however it looks set to transform biology and turn it from “Social Work” into Physics – JD Watson will be pleased.
I did not want to study medicine at University, almost any other course, apart from Law would have been my preferred option. As it was, I was a mediocre to poor student, bouncing along the bottom, retaking every exam I could. The retakes and subsequent post grad exams mean that I have now studied Basic Medical Sciences more times than I can accurately remember – and sat at least ten exams in them. However, thanks to medicine providing me with a half way decent income, personal circumstances allowing, I have a house. Most doctors have a very decent income and pension from their career – I was busy being ill etc – see my book for further details.
How different would my life had been had I followed a passion – which might have been Physics, a pure science, nature and animals, art even languages. Studied a subject about which I had been passionate, not just going through the motions? Who knows, maybe I wouldn’t have been ill, maybe I would have some personal achievements to show for my life, rather than those thrust on me by circumstances, maybe I would have been happily (or unhappily) married with half a dozen children. Who knows – but I am certain that the compromise I made as a teenager to get to University – medicine or law were the only courses my parents would support and back in the 70s there were no student loans. If your parents were rich enough (and mine were – just!) they were expected to support you through University and for that reason they could dictate the course you studied. My parents in keeping with a long family tradition, chose medicine for me.
The course I am now studying, from Santa Fe University both cheers me up – because its fascinating and depresses me, because I think of how differently I might have lived my life. If I had followed my passions or my talents, my life would have different, possibly better, possibly worse because I would not have had a steadyish income to fall back on. It’s a choice – do you become an Accountant or an Artiste? I chose the career equivalent of Accountant, and given, you only get one bite of the cherry, if you have a soul born to be wild, its best to for you and your soul to be wild.
Thanks to Seth Godin – who says the way round writers block is to put out your worst work – its one way round it! and, no one is making you read my worst work – so two birds with one stone – thank you Seth 😉